TESS OF THE
D’URBERVILLES
PART 21
XLVII
It is the
threshing of the last wheat-rick at Flintcomb-Ash farm. The dawn of the March
morning is singularly inexpressive, and there is nothing to show where the
eastern horizon lies. Against the twilight rises the trapezoidal top of the
stack, which has stood forlornly here through the washing and bleaching of the
wintry weather.
When Izz
Huett and Tess arrived at the scene of operations only a rustling denoted that
others had preceded them; to which, as the light increased, there were
presently added the silhouettes of two men on the summit. They were busily
"unhaling" the rick, that is, stripping off the thatch before
beginning to throw down the sheaves; and while this was in progress Izz and
Tess, with the other women-workers, in their whitey-brown pinners, stood
waiting and shivering, Farmer Groby having insisted upon their being on the
spot thus early to get the job over if possible by the end of the day. Close
under the eaves of the stack, and as yet barely visible, was the red tyrant
that the women had come to serve—a timber-framed construction, with straps and
wheels appertaining—the threshing-machine which, whilst it was going, kept up a
despotic demand upon the endurance of their muscles and nerves.
A little
way off there was another indistinct figure; this one black, with a sustained
hiss that spoke of strength very much in reserve. The long chimney running up
beside an ash-tree, and the warmth which radiated from the spot, explained
without the necessity of much daylight that here was the engine which was to
act as the primum mobile of this little world. By the engine stood a
dark, motionless being, a sooty and grimy embodiment of tallness, in a sort of
trance, with a heap of coals by his side: it was the engine-man. The isolation
of his manner and colour lent him the appearance of a creature from Tophet, who
had strayed into the pellucid smokelessness of this region of yellow grain and
pale soil, with which he had nothing in common, to amaze and to discompose its
aborigines.
What he
looked he felt. He was in the agricultural world, but not of it. He served fire
and smoke; these denizens of the fields served vegetation, weather, frost, and
sun. He travelled with his engine from farm to farm, from county to county, for
as yet the steam threshing-machine was itinerant in this part of Wessex. He
spoke in a strange northern accent; his thoughts being turned inwards upon
himself, his eye on his iron charge, hardly perceiving the scenes around him,
and caring for them not at all: holding only strictly necessary intercourse
with the natives, as if some ancient doom compelled him to wander here against
his will in the service of his Plutonic master. The long strap which ran from
the driving-wheel of his engine to the red thresher under the rick was the sole
tie-line between agriculture and him.
While they
uncovered the sheaves he stood apathetic beside his portable repository of
force, round whose hot blackness the morning air quivered. He had nothing to do
with preparatory labour. His fire was waiting incandescent, his steam was at
high pressure, in a few seconds he could make the long strap move at an
invisible velocity. Beyond its extent the environment might be corn, straw, or
chaos; it was all the same to him. If any of the autochthonous idlers asked him
what he called himself, he replied shortly, "an engineer."
The rick
was unhaled by full daylight; the men then took their places, the women
mounted, and the work began. Farmer Groby—or, as they called him,
"he"—had arrived ere this, and by his orders Tess was placed on the
platform of the machine, close to the man who fed it, her business being to
untie every sheaf of corn handed on to her by Izz Huett, who stood next, but on
the rick; so that the feeder could seize it and spread it over the revolving
drum, which whisked out every grain in one moment.
They were
soon in full progress, after a preparatory hitch or two, which rejoiced the
hearts of those who hated machinery. The work sped on till breakfast time, when
the thresher was stopped for half an hour; and on starting again after the meal
the whole supplementary strength of the farm was thrown into the labour of
constructing the straw-rick, which began to grow beside the stack of corn. A
hasty lunch was eaten as they stood, without leaving their positions, and then
another couple of hours brought them near to dinner-time; the inexorable wheel
continuing to spin, and the penetrating hum of the thresher to thrill to the
very marrow all who were near the revolving wire-cage.
The old
men on the rising straw-rick talked of the past days when they had been
accustomed to thresh with flails on the oaken barn-floor; when everything, even
to winnowing, was effected by hand-labour, which, to their thinking, though
slow, produced better results. Those, too, on the corn-rick talked a little;
but the perspiring ones at the machine, including Tess, could not lighten their
duties by the exchange of many words. It was the ceaselessness of the work
which tried her so severely, and began to make her wish that she had never some
to Flintcomb-Ash. The women on the corn-rick—Marian, who was one of them, in
particular—could stop to drink ale or cold tea from the flagon now and then, or
to exchange a few gossiping remarks while they wiped their faces or cleared the
fragments of straw and husk from their clothing; but for Tess there was no
respite; for, as the drum never stopped, the man who fed it could not stop, and
she, who had to supply the man with untied sheaves, could not stop either,
unless Marian changed places with her, which she sometimes did for half an hour
in spite of Groby's objections that she was too slow-handed for a feeder.
For some
probably economical reason it was usually a woman who was chosen for this
particular duty, and Groby gave as his motive in selecting Tess that she was
one of those who best combined strength with quickness in untying, and both
with staying power, and this may have been true. The hum of the thresher, which
prevented speech, increased to a raving whenever the supply of corn fell short
of the regular quantity. As Tess and the man who fed could never turn their
heads she did not know that just before the dinner-hour a person had come
silently into the field by the gate, and had been standing under a second rick
watching the scene and Tess in particular. He was dressed in a tweed suit of
fashionable pattern, and he twirled a gay walking-cane.
"Who
is that?" said Izz Huett to Marian. She had at first addressed the inquiry
to Tess, but the latter could not hear it.
"Somebody's
fancy-man, I s'pose," said Marian laconically.
"I'll
lay a guinea he's after Tess."
"O
no. 'Tis a ranter pa'son who's been sniffing after her lately; not a dandy like
this."
"Well—this
is the same man."
"The
same man as the preacher? But he's quite different!"
"He
hev left off his black coat and white neckercher, and hev cut off his whiskers;
but he's the same man for all that."
"D'ye
really think so? Then I'll tell her," said Marian.
"Don't.
She'll see him soon enough, good-now."
"Well,
I don't think it at all right for him to join his preaching to courting a
married woman, even though her husband mid be abroad, and she, in a sense, a
widow."
"Oh—he
can do her no harm," said Izz drily. "Her mind can no more be heaved
from that one place where it do bide than a stooded waggon from the hole he's
in. Lord love 'ee, neither court-paying, nor preaching, nor the seven thunders
themselves, can wean a woman when 'twould be better for her that she should be
weaned."
Dinner-time
came, and the whirling ceased; whereupon Tess left her post, her knees
trembling so wretchedly with the shaking of the machine that she could scarcely
walk.
"You
ought to het a quart o' drink into 'ee, as I've done," said Marian.
"You wouldn't look so white then. Why, souls above us, your face is as if
you'd been hagrode!"
It occurred
to the good-natured Marian that, as Tess was so tired, her discovery of her
visitor's presence might have the bad effect of taking away her appetite; and
Marian was thinking of inducing Tess to descend by a ladder on the further side
of the stack when the gentleman came forward and looked up.
Tess
uttered a short little "Oh!" And a moment after she said, quickly,
"I shall eat my dinner here—right on the rick."
Sometimes,
when they were so far from their cottages, they all did this; but as there was
rather a keen wind going to-day, Marian and the rest descended, and sat under
the straw-stack.
The
newcomer was, indeed, Alec d'Urberville, the late Evangelist, despite his
changed attire and aspect. It was obvious at a glance that the original Weltlust
had come back; that he had restored himself, as nearly as a man could do who
had grown three or four years older, to the old jaunty, slapdash guise under
which Tess had first known her admirer, and cousin so-called. Having decided to
remain where she was, Tess sat down among the bundles, out of sight of the
ground, and began her meal; till, by-and-by, she heard footsteps on the ladder,
and immediately after Alec appeared upon the stack—now an oblong and level
platform of sheaves. He strode across them, and sat down opposite of her
without a word.
Tess
continued to eat her modest dinner, a slice of thick pancake which she had
brought with her. The other workfolk were by this time all gathered under the
rick, where the loose straw formed a comfortable retreat.
"I am
here again, as you see," said d'Urberville.
"Why
do you trouble me so!" she cried, reproach flashing from her very
finger-ends.
"I
trouble you? I think I may ask, why do you trouble me?"
"Sure,
I don't trouble you any-when!"
"You
say you don't? But you do! You haunt me. Those very eyes that you turned upon
me with such a bitter flash a moment ago, they come to me just as you showed
them then, in the night and in the day! Tess, ever since you told me of that
child of ours, it is just as if my feelings, which have been flowing in a
strong puritanical stream, had suddenly found a way open in the direction of
you, and had all at once gushed through. The religious channel is left dry
forthwith; and it is you who have done it!"
She gazed
in silence.
"What—you
have given up your preaching entirely?" she asked. She had gathered from
Angel sufficient of the incredulity of modern thought to despise flash
enthusiasm; but, as a woman, she was somewhat appalled.
In
affected severity d'Urberville continued—
"Entirely.
I have broken every engagement since that afternoon I was to address the
drunkards at Casterbridge Fair. The deuce only knows what I am thought of by
the brethren. Ah-ha! The brethren! No doubt they pray for me—weep for me; for
they are kind people in their way. But what do I care? How could I go on with
the thing when I had lost my faith in it?—it would have been hypocrisy of the
basest kind! Among them I should have stood like Hymenaeus and Alexander, who
were delivered over to Satan that they might learn not to blaspheme. What a
grand revenge you have taken! I saw you innocent, and I deceived you. Four
years after, you find me a Christian enthusiast; you then work upon me, perhaps
to my complete perdition! But Tess, my coz, as I used to call you, this is only
my way of talking, and you must not look so horribly concerned. Of course you
have done nothing except retain your pretty face and shapely figure. I saw it
on the rick before you saw me—that tight pinafore-thing sets it off, and that wing-bonnet—you
field-girls should never wear those bonnets if you wish to keep out of
danger." He regarded her silently for a few moments, and with a short
cynical laugh resumed: "I believe that if the bachelor-apostle, whose
deputy I thought I was, had been tempted by such a pretty face, he would have
let go the plough for her sake as I do!"
Tess
attempted to expostulate, but at this juncture all her fluency failed her, and
without heeding he added:
"Well,
this paradise that you supply is perhaps as good as any other, after all. But
to speak seriously, Tess." D'Urberville rose and came nearer, reclining
sideways amid the sheaves, and resting upon his elbow. "Since I last saw
you, I have been thinking of what you said that he said. I have come to
the conclusion that there does seem rather a want of common-sense in these
threadbare old propositions; how I could have been so fired by poor Parson
Clare's enthusiasm, and have gone so madly to work, transcending even him, I
cannot make out! As for what you said last time, on the strength of your
wonderful husband's intelligence—whose name you have never told me—about having
what they call an ethical system without any dogma, I don't see my way to that
at all."
"Why,
you can have the religion of loving-kindness and purity at least, if you can't
have—what do you call it—dogma."
"O
no! I'm a different sort of fellow from that! If there's nobody to say, 'Do
this, and it will be a good thing for you after you are dead; do that, and if
will be a bad thing for you,' I can't warm up. Hang it, I am not going to feel
responsible for my deeds and passions if there's nobody to be responsible to;
and if I were you, my dear, I wouldn't either!"
She tried
to argue, and tell him that he had mixed in his dull brain two matters, theology
and morals, which in the primitive days of mankind had been quite distinct. But
owing to Angel Clare's reticence, to her absolute want of training, and to her
being a vessel of emotions rather than reasons, she could not get on.
"Well,
never mind," he resumed. "Here I am, my love, as in the old
times!"
"Not
as then—never as then—'tis different!" she entreated. "And there was
never warmth with me! O why didn't you keep your faith, if the loss of it has
brought you to speak to me like this!"
"Because
you've knocked it out of me; so the evil be upon your sweet head! Your husband
little thought how his teaching would recoil upon him! Ha-ha—I'm awfully glad
you have made an apostate of me all the same! Tess, I am more taken with you
than ever, and I pity you too. For all your closeness, I see you are in a bad
way—neglected by one who ought to cherish you."
She could
not get her morsels of food down her throat; her lips were dry, and she was
ready to choke. The voices and laughs of the workfolk eating and drinking under
the rick came to her as if they were a quarter of a mile off.
"It
is cruelty to me!" she said. "How—how can you treat me to this talk,
if you care ever so little for me?"
"True,
true," he said, wincing a little. "I did not come to reproach you for
my deeds. I came Tess, to say that I don't like you to be working like this,
and I have come on purpose for you. You say you have a husband who is not I.
Well, perhaps you have; but I've never seen him, and you've not told me his
name; and altogether he seems rather a mythological personage. However, even if
you have one, I think I am nearer to you than he is. I, at any rate, try to
help you out of trouble, but he does not, bless his invisible face! The words
of the stern prophet Hosea that I used to read come back to me. Don't you know
them, Tess?—'And she shall follow after her lover, but she shall not overtake
him; and she shall seek him, but shall not find him; then shall she say, I will
go and return to my first husband; for then was it better with me than now!' …
Tess, my trap is waiting just under the hill, and—darling mine, not his!—you
know the rest."
Her face
had been rising to a dull crimson fire while he spoke; but she did not answer.
"You
have been the cause of my backsliding," he continued, stretching his arm
towards her waist; "you should be willing to share it, and leave that mule
you call husband for ever."
One of her
leather gloves, which she had taken off to eat her skimmer-cake, lay in her
lap, and without the slightest warning she passionately swung the glove by the
gauntlet directly in his face. It was heavy and thick as a warrior's, and it
struck him flat on the mouth. Fancy might have regarded the act as the
recrudescence of a trick in which her armed progenitors were not unpractised.
Alec fiercely started up from his reclining position. A scarlet oozing appeared
where her blow had alighted, and in a moment the blood began dropping from his
mouth upon the straw. But he soon controlled himself, calmly drew his
handkerchief from his pocket, and mopped his bleeding lips.
She too
had sprung up, but she sank down again. "Now, punish me!" she said,
turning up her eyes to him with the hopeless defiance of the sparrow's gaze
before its captor twists its neck. "Whip me, crush me; you need not mind
those people under the rick! I shall not cry out. Once victim, always
victim—that's the law!"
"O
no, no, Tess," he said blandly. "I can make full allowance for this.
Yet you most unjustly forget one thing, that I would have married you if you
had not put it out of my power to do so. Did I not ask you flatly to be my
wife—hey? Answer me."
"You
did."
"And
you cannot be. But remember one thing!" His voice hardened as his temper
got the better of him with the recollection of his sincerity in asking her and
her present ingratitude, and he stepped across to her side and held her by the
shoulders, so that she shook under his grasp. "Remember, my lady, I was
your master once! I will be your master again. If you are any man's wife you
are mine!"
The
threshers now began to stir below.
"So
much for our quarrel," he said, letting her go. "Now I shall leave
you, and shall come again for your answer during the afternoon. You don't know
me yet! But I know you."
She had not spoken again, remaining as if stunned.
D'Urberville retreated over the sheaves, and descended the ladder, while the
workers below rose and stretched their arms, and shook down the beer they had
drunk. Then the threshing-machine started afresh; and amid the renewed rustle
of the straw Tess resumed her position by the buzzing drum as one in a dream,
untying sheaf after sheaf in endless succession.
XLVIII
In the
afternoon the farmer made it known that the rick was to be finished that night,
since there was a moon by which they could see to work, and the man with the
engine was engaged for another farm on the morrow. Hence the twanging and
humming and rustling proceeded with even less intermission than usual.
It was not
till "nammet"-time, about three o-clock, that Tess raised her eyes
and gave a momentary glance round. She felt but little surprise at seeing that
Alec d'Urberville had come back, and was standing under the hedge by the gate.
He had seen her lift her eyes, and waved his hand urbanely to her, while he
blew her a kiss. It meant that their quarrel was over. Tess looked down again,
and carefully abstained from gazing in that direction.
Thus the
afternoon dragged on. The wheat-rick shrank lower, and the straw-rick grew
higher, and the corn-sacks were carted away. At six o'clock the wheat-rick was
about shoulder-high from the ground. But the unthreshed sheaves remaining
untouched seemed countless still, notwithstanding the enormous numbers that had
been gulped down by the insatiable swallower, fed by the man and Tess, through whose
two young hands the greater part of them had passed. And the immense stack of
straw where in the morning there had been nothing, appeared as the faeces of
the same buzzing red glutton. From the west sky a wrathful shine—all that wild
March could afford in the way of sunset—had burst forth after the cloudy day,
flooding the tired and sticky faces of the threshers, and dyeing them with a
coppery light, as also the flapping garments of the women, which clung to them
like dull flames.
A panting
ache ran through the rick. The man who fed was weary, and Tess could see that
the red nape of his neck was encrusted with dirt and husks. She still stood at
her post, her flushed and perspiring face coated with the corndust, and her
white bonnet embrowned by it. She was the only woman whose place was upon the
machine so as to be shaken bodily by its spinning, and the decrease of the
stack now separated her from Marian and Izz, and prevented their changing
duties with her as they had done. The incessant quivering, in which every fibre
of her frame participated, had thrown her into a stupefied reverie in which her
arms worked on independently of her consciousness. She hardly knew where she
was, and did not hear Izz Huett tell her from below that her hair was tumbling
down.
By degrees
the freshest among them began to grow cadaverous and saucer-eyed. Whenever Tess
lifted her head she beheld always the great upgrown straw-stack, with the men
in shirt-sleeves upon it, against the gray north sky; in front of it the long
red elevator like a Jacob's ladder, on which a perpetual stream of threshed
straw ascended, a yellow river running uphill, and spouting out on the top of
the rick.
She knew
that Alec d'Urberville was still on the scene, observing her from some point or
other, though she could not say where. There was an excuse for his remaining,
for when the threshed rick drew near its final sheaves a little ratting was
always done, and men unconnected with the threshing sometimes dropped in for
that performance—sporting characters of all descriptions, gents with terriers
and facetious pipes, roughs with sticks and stones.
But there
was another hour's work before the layer of live rats at the base of the stack
would be reached; and as the evening light in the direction of the Giant's Hill
by Abbot's-Cernel dissolved away, the white-faced moon of the season arose from
the horizon that lay towards Middleton Abbey and Shottsford on the other side.
For the last hour or two Marian had felt uneasy about Tess, whom she could not
get near enough to speak to, the other women having kept up their strength by
drinking ale, and Tess having done without it through traditionary dread, owing
to its results at her home in childhood. But Tess still kept going: if she
could not fill her part she would have to leave; and this contingency, which
she would have regarded with equanimity and even with relief a month or two
earlier, had become a terror since d'Urberville had begun to hover round her.
The
sheaf-pitchers and feeders had now worked the rick so low that people on the
ground could talk to them. To Tess's surprise Farmer Groby came up on the
machine to her, and said that if she desired to join her friend he did not wish
her to keep on any longer, and would send somebody else to take her place. The
"friend" was d'Urberville, she knew, and also that this concession
had been granted in obedience to the request of that friend, or enemy. She
shook her head and toiled on.
The time
for the rat-catching arrived at last, and the hunt began. The creatures had
crept downwards with the subsidence of the rick till they were all together at
the bottom, and being now uncovered from their last refuge, they ran across the
open ground in all directions, a loud shriek from the by-this-time half-tipsy
Marian informing her companions that one of the rats had invaded her person—a
terror which the rest of the women had guarded against by various schemes of
skirt-tucking and self-elevation. The rat was at last dislodged, and, amid the
barking of dogs, masculine shouts, feminine screams, oaths, stampings, and
confusion as of Pandemonium, Tess untied her last sheaf; the drum slowed, the
whizzing ceased, and she stepped from the machine to the ground.
Her lover,
who had only looked on at the rat-catching, was promptly at her side.
"What—after
all—my insulting slap, too!" said she in an underbreath. She was so
utterly exhausted that she had not strength to speak louder.
"I
should indeed be foolish to feel offended at anything you say or do," he
answered, in the seductive voice of the Trantridge time. "How the little
limbs tremble! You are as weak as a bled calf, you know you are; and yet you
need have done nothing since I arrived. How could you be so obstinate? However,
I have told the farmer that he has no right to employ women at steam-threshing.
It is not proper work for them; and on all the better class of farms it has
been given up, as he knows very well. I will walk with you as far as your
home."
"O
yes," she answered with a jaded gait. "Walk wi' me if you will! I do
bear in mind that you came to marry me before you knew o' my state.
Perhaps—perhaps you are a little better and kinder than I have been thinking
you were. Whatever is meant as kindness I am grateful for; whatever is meant in
any other way I am angered at. I cannot sense your meaning sometimes."
"If I
cannot legitimize our former relations at least I can assist you. And I will do
it with much more regard for your feelings than I formerly showed. My religious
mania, or whatever it was, is over. But I retain a little good nature; I hope I
do. Now, Tess, by all that's tender and strong between man and woman, trust me!
I have enough and more than enough to put you out of anxiety, both for yourself
and your parents and sisters. I can make them all comfortable if you will only
show confidence in me."
"Have
you seen 'em lately?" she quickly inquired.
"Yes.
They didn't know where you were. It was only by chance that I found you
here."
The cold
moon looked aslant upon Tess's fagged face between the twigs of the garden-hedge
as she paused outside the cottage which was her temporary home, d'Urberville
pausing beside her.
"Don't
mention my little brothers and sisters—don't make me break down quite!"
she said. "If you want to help them—God knows they need it—do it without
telling me. But no, no!" she cried. "I will take nothing from you,
either for them or for me!"
He did not accompany her further, since, as she lived
with the household, all was public indoors. No sooner had she herself entered,
laved herself in a washing-tub, and shared supper with the family than she fell
into thought, and withdrawing to the table under the wall, by the light of her
own little lamp wrote in a passionate mood—
My own Husband,—
Let me
call you so—I must—even if it makes you angry to think of such an unworthy wife
as I. I must cry to you in my trouble—I have no one else! I am so exposed to
temptation, Angel. I fear to say who it is, and I do not like to write about it
at all. But I cling to you in a way you cannot think! Can you not come to me
now, at once, before anything terrible happens? O, I know you cannot, because
you are so far away! I think I must die if you do not come soon, or tell me to
come to you. The punishment you have measured out to me is deserved—I do know
that—well deserved—and you are right and just to be angry with me. But, Angel,
please, please, not to be just—only a little kind to me, even if I do not
deserve it, and come to me! If you would come, I could die in your arms! I
would be well content to do that if so be you had forgiven me!
Angel, I
live entirely for you. I love you too much to blame you for going away, and I
know it was necessary you should find a farm. Do not think I shall say a word
of sting or bitterness. Only come back to me. I am desolate without you, my
darling, O, so desolate! I do not mind having to work: but if you will send me
one little line, and say, "I am coming soon," I will bide on,
Angel—O, so cheerfully!
It has
been so much my religion ever since we were married to be faithful to you in
every thought and look, that even when a man speaks a compliment to me before I
am aware, it seems wronging you. Have you never felt one little bit of what you
used to feel when we were at the dairy? If you have, how can you keep away from
me? I am the same women, Angel, as you fell in love with; yes, the very
same!—not the one you disliked but never saw. What was the past to me as soon
as I met you? It was a dead thing altogether. I became another woman, filled
full of new life from you. How could I be the early one? Why do you not see
this? Dear, if you would only be a little more conceited, and believe in
yourself so far as to see that you were strong enough to work this change in
me, you would perhaps be in a mind to come to me, your poor wife.
How silly
I was in my happiness when I thought I could trust you always to love me! I
ought to have known that such as that was not for poor me. But I am sick at
heart, not only for old times, but for the present. Think—think how it do hurt
my heart not to see you ever—ever! Ah, if I could only make your dear heart
ache one little minute of each day as mine does every day and all day long, it
might lead you to show pity to your poor lonely one.
People
still say that I am rather pretty, Angel (handsome is the word they use, since
I wish to be truthful). Perhaps I am what they say. But I do not value my good
looks; I only like to have them because they belong to you, my dear, and that
there may be at least one thing about me worth your having. So much have I felt
this, that when I met with annoyance on account of the same, I tied up my face
in a bandage as long as people would believe in it. O Angel, I tell you all
this not from vanity—you will certainly know I do not—but only that you may
come to me!
If you
really cannot come to me, will you let me come to you? I am, as I say, worried,
pressed to do what I will not do. It cannot be that I shall yield one inch, yet
I am in terror as to what an accident might lead to, and I so defenceless on
account of my first error. I cannot say more about this—it makes me too
miserable. But if I break down by falling into some fearful snare, my last
state will be worse than my first. O God, I cannot think of it! Let me come at
once, or at once come to me!
I would be
content, ay, glad, to live with you as your servant, if I may not as your wife;
so that I could only be near you, and get glimpses of you, and think of you as
mine.
The
daylight has nothing to show me, since you are not here, and I don't like to
see the rooks and starlings in the field, because I grieve and grieve to miss
you who used to see them with me. I long for only one thing in heaven or earth
or under the earth, to meet you, my own dear! Come to me—come to me, and save
me from what threatens me!—
Your faithful heartbroken
Tess
Tess
XLIX
The appeal
duly found its way to the breakfast-table of the quiet Vicarage to the
westward, in that valley where the air is so soft and the soil so rich that the
effort of growth requires but superficial aid by comparison with the tillage at
Flintcomb-Ash, and where to Tess the human world seemed so different (though it
was much the same). It was purely for security that she had been requested by Angel
to send her communications through his father, whom he kept pretty well
informed of his changing addresses in the country he had gone to exploit for
himself with a heavy heart.
"Now,"
said old Mr Clare to his wife, when he had read the envelope, "if Angel
proposes leaving Rio for a visit home at the end of next month, as he told us
that he hoped to do, I think this may hasten his plans; for I believe it to be
from his wife." He breathed deeply at the thought of her; and the letter
was redirected to be promptly sent on to Angel.
"Dear
fellow, I hope he will get home safely," murmured Mrs Clare. "To my
dying day I shall feel that he has been ill-used. You should have sent him to
Cambridge in spite of his want of faith and given him the same chance as the
other boys had. He would have grown out of it under proper influence, and
perhaps would have taken Orders after all. Church or no Church, it would have
been fairer to him."
This was
the only wail with which Mrs Clare ever disturbed her husband's peace in
respect to their sons. And she did not vent this often; for she was as
considerate as she was devout, and knew that his mind too was troubled by
doubts as to his justice in this matter. Only too often had she heard him lying
awake at night, stifling sighs for Angel with prayers. But the uncompromising
Evangelical did not even now hold that he would have been justified in giving
his son, an unbeliever, the same academic advantages that he had given to the
two others, when it was possible, if not probable, that those very advantages
might have been used to decry the doctrines which he had made it his life's
mission and desire to propagate, and the mission of his ordained sons likewise.
To put with one hand a pedestal under the feet of the two faithful ones, and
with the other to exalt the unfaithful by the same artificial means, he deemed
to be alike inconsistent with his convictions, his position, and his hopes.
Nevertheless, he loved his misnamed Angel, and in secret mourned over this
treatment of him as Abraham might have mourned over the doomed Isaac while they
went up the hill together. His silent self-generated regrets were far bitterer
than the reproaches which his wife rendered audible.
They
blamed themselves for this unlucky marriage. If Angel had never been destined
for a farmer he would never have been thrown with agricultural girls. They did
not distinctly know what had separated him and his wife, nor the date on which
the separation had taken place. At first they had supposed it must be something
of the nature of a serious aversion. But in his later letters he occasionally
alluded to the intention of coming home to fetch her; from which expressions
they hoped the division might not owe its origin to anything so hopelessly
permanent as that. He had told them that she was with her relatives, and in
their doubts they had decided not to intrude into a situation which they knew
no way of bettering.
The eyes
for which Tess's letter was intended were gazing at this time on a limitless
expanse of country from the back of a mule which was bearing him from the
interior of the South-American Continent towards the coast. His experiences of
this strange land had been sad. The severe illness from which he had suffered
shortly after his arrival had never wholly left him, and he had by degrees
almost decided to relinquish his hope of farming here, though, as long as the
bare possibility existed of his remaining, he kept this change of view a secret
from his parents.
The crowds
of agricultural labourers who had come out to the country in his wake, dazzled
by representations of easy independence, had suffered, died, and wasted away.
He would see mothers from English farms trudging along with their infants in
their arms, when the child would be stricken with fever and would die; the
mother would pause to dig a hole in the loose earth with her bare hands, would
bury the babe therein with the same natural grave-tools, shed one tear, and
again trudge on.
Angel's
original intention had not been emigration to Brazil but a northern or eastern
farm in his own country. He had come to this place in a fit of desperation, the
Brazil movement among the English agriculturists having by chance coincided
with his desire to escape from his past existence.
During
this time of absence he had mentally aged a dozen years. What arrested him now
as of value in life was less its beauty than its pathos. Having long
discredited the old systems of mysticism, he now began to discredit the old
appraisements of morality. He thought they wanted readjusting. Who was the
moral man? Still more pertinently, who was the moral woman? The beauty or
ugliness of a character lay not only in its achievements, but in its aims and
impulses; its true history lay, not among things done, but among things willed.
How, then,
about Tess?
Viewing
her in these lights, a regret for his hasty judgement began to oppress him. Did
he reject her eternally, or did he not? He could no longer say that he would
always reject her, and not to say that was in spirit to accept her now.
This
growing fondness for her memory coincided in point of time with her residence
at Flintcomb-Ash, but it was before she had felt herself at liberty to trouble
him with a word about her circumstances or her feelings. He was greatly
perplexed; and in his perplexity as to her motives in withholding intelligence,
he did not inquire. Thus her silence of docility was misinterpreted. How much
it really said if he had understood!—that she adhered with literal exactness to
orders which he had given and forgotten; that despite her natural fearlessness
she asserted no rights, admitted his judgement to be in every respect the true
one, and bent her head dumbly thereto.
In the
before-mentioned journey by mules through the interior of the country, another
man rode beside him. Angel's companion was also an Englishman, bent on the same
errand, though he came from another part of the island. They were both in a
state of mental depression, and they spoke of home affairs. Confidence begat
confidence. With that curious tendency evinced by men, more especially when in
distant lands, to entrust to strangers details of their lives which they would
on no account mention to friends, Angel admitted to this man as they rode along
the sorrowful facts of his marriage.
The
stranger had sojourned in many more lands and among many more peoples than
Angel; to his cosmopolitan mind such deviations from the social norm, so
immense to domesticity, were no more than are the irregularities of vale and
mountain-chain to the whole terrestrial curve. He viewed the matter in quite a
different light from Angel; thought that what Tess had been was of no
importance beside what she would be, and plainly told Clare that he was wrong
in coming away from her.
The next
day they were drenched in a thunder-storm. Angel's companion was struck down
with fever, and died by the week's end. Clare waited a few hours to bury him,
and then went on his way.
The
cursory remarks of the large-minded stranger, of whom he knew absolutely
nothing beyond a commonplace name, were sublimed by his death, and influenced
Clare more than all the reasoned ethics of the philosophers. His own
parochialism made him ashamed by its contrast. His inconsistencies rushed upon
him in a flood. He had persistently elevated Hellenic Paganism at the expense
of Christianity; yet in that civilization an illegal surrender was not certain
disesteem. Surely then he might have regarded that abhorrence of the un-intact
state, which he had inherited with the creed of mysticism, as at least open to
correction when the result was due to treachery. A remorse struck into him. The
words of Izz Huett, never quite stilled in his memory, came back to him. He had
asked Izz if she loved him, and she had replied in the affirmative. Did she
love him more than Tess did? No, she had replied; Tess would lay down her life
for him, and she herself could do no more.
He thought
of Tess as she had appeared on the day of the wedding. How her eyes had
lingered upon him; how she had hung upon his words as if they were a god's! And
during the terrible evening over the hearth, when her simple soul uncovered
itself to his, how pitiful her face had looked by the rays of the fire, in her
inability to realize that his love and protection could possibly be withdrawn.
Thus from
being her critic he grew to be her advocate. Cynical things he had uttered to
himself about her; but no man can be always a cynic and live; and he withdrew
them. The mistake of expressing them had arisen from his allowing himself to be
influenced by general principles to the disregard of the particular instance.
But the
reasoning is somewhat musty; lovers and husbands have gone over the ground
before to-day. Clare had been harsh towards her; there is no doubt of it. Men
are too often harsh with women they love or have loved; women with men. And yet
these harshnesses are tenderness itself when compared with the universal
harshness out of which they grow; the harshness of the position towards the
temperament, of the means towards the aims, of to-day towards yesterday, of
hereafter towards to-day.
The
historic interest of her family—that masterful line of d'Urbervilles—whom he
had despised as a spent force, touched his sentiments now. Why had he not known
the difference between the political value and the imaginative value of these
things? In the latter aspect her d'Urberville descent was a fact of great dimensions;
worthless to economics, it was a most useful ingredient to the dreamer, to the
moralizer on declines and falls. It was a fact that would soon be
forgotten—that bit of distinction in poor Tess's blood and name, and oblivion
would fall upon her hereditary link with the marble monuments and leaded
skeletons at Kingsbere. So does Time ruthlessly destroy his own romances. In
recalling her face again and again, he thought now that he could see therein a
flash of the dignity which must have graced her grand-dames; and the vision
sent that aura through his veins which he had formerly felt, and which
left behind it a sense of sickness.
Despite
her not-inviolate past, what still abode in such a woman as Tess outvalued the
freshness of her fellows. Was not the gleaning of the grapes of Ephraim better
than the vintage of Abiezer?
So spoke
love renascent, preparing the way for Tess's devoted outpouring, which was then
just being forwarded to him by his father; though owing to his distance inland
it was to be a long time in reaching him.
Meanwhile
the writer's expectation that Angel would come in response to the entreaty was
alternately great and small. What lessened it was that the facts of her life
which had led to the parting had not changed—could never change; and that, if
her presence had not attenuated them, her absence could not. Nevertheless she
addressed her mind to the tender question of what she could do to please him
best if he should arrive. Sighs were expended on the wish that she had taken
more notice of the tunes he played on his harp, that she had inquired more
curiously of him which were his favourite ballads among those the country-girls
sang. She indirectly inquired of Amby Seedling, who had followed Izz from
Talbothays, and by chance Amby remembered that, amongst the snatches of melody
in which they had indulged at the dairyman's, to induce the cows to let down
their milk, Clare had seemed to like "Cupid's Gardens", "I have
parks, I have hounds", and "The break o' the day"; and had
seemed not to care for "The Tailor's Breeches" and "Such a
beauty I did grow", excellent ditties as they were.
To perfect the ballads was now her whimsical desire.
She practised them privately at odd moments, especially "The break o' the
day":
Arise, arise, arise!
And pick your love a posy,
All o' the sweetest flowers
That in the garden grow.
The turtle doves and sma' birds
In every bough a-building,
So early in the May-time
At the break o' the day!
And pick your love a posy,
All o' the sweetest flowers
That in the garden grow.
The turtle doves and sma' birds
In every bough a-building,
So early in the May-time
At the break o' the day!
It would
have melted the heart of a stone to hear her singing these ditties whenever she
worked apart from the rest of the girls in this cold dry time; the tears
running down her cheeks all the while at the thought that perhaps he would not,
after all, come to hear her, and the simple silly words of the songs resounding
in painful mockery of the aching heart of the singer.
Tess was
so wrapt up in this fanciful dream that she seemed not to know how the season
was advancing; that the days had lengthened, that Lady-Day was at hand, and
would soon be followed by Old Lady-Day, the end of her term here.
But before
the quarter-day had quite come, something happened which made Tess think of far
different matters. She was at her lodging as usual one evening, sitting in the
downstairs room with the rest of the family, when somebody knocked at the door
and inquired for Tess. Through the doorway she saw against the declining light
a figure with the height of a woman and the breadth of a child, a tall, thin,
girlish creature whom she did not recognize in the twilight till the girl said "Tess!"
"What—is
it 'Liza-Lu?" asked Tess, in startled accents. Her sister, whom a little
over a year ago she had left at home as a child, had sprung up by a sudden
shoot to a form of this presentation, of which as yet Lu seemed herself scarce
able to understand the meaning. Her thin legs, visible below her once-long
frock, now short by her growing, and her uncomfortable hands and arms revealed
her youth and inexperience.
"Yes,
I have been traipsing about all day, Tess," said Lu, with unemotional
gravity, "a-trying to find 'ee; and I'm very tired."
"What
is the matter at home?"
"Mother
is took very bad, and the doctor says she's dying, and as father is not very
well neither, and says 'tis wrong for a man of such a high family as his to
slave and drave at common labouring work, we don't know what to do."
Tess stood
in reverie a long time before she thought of asking 'Liza-Lu to come in and sit
down. When she had done so, and 'Liza-Lu was having some tea, she came to a
decision. It was imperative that she should go home. Her agreement did not end
till Old Lady-Day, the sixth of April, but as the interval thereto was not a
long one she resolved to run the risk of starting at once.
To go that night would be a gain of twelve-hours; but
her sister was too tired to undertake such a distance till the morrow. Tess ran
down to where Marian and Izz lived, informed them of what had happened, and
begged them to make the best of her case to the farmer. Returning, she got Lu a
supper, and after that, having tucked the younger into her own bed, packed up
as many of her belongings as would go into a withy basket, and started,
directing Lu to follow her next morning.
To be continued