TESS
OF THE D’URBERVILLES
PART
10
XXIII
The hot
weather of July had crept upon them unawares, and the atmosphere of the flat
vale hung heavy as an opiate over the dairy-folk, the cows, and the trees. Hot
steaming rains fell frequently, making the grass where the cows fed yet more
rank, and hindering the late hay-making in the other meads.
It was
Sunday morning; the milking was done; the outdoor milkers had gone home. Tess
and the other three were dressing themselves rapidly, the whole bevy having
agreed to go together to Mellstock Church, which lay some three or four miles
distant from the dairy-house. She had now been two months at Talbothays, and
this was her first excursion.
All the
preceding afternoon and night heavy thunderstorms had hissed down upon the
meads, and washed some of the hay into the river; but this morning the sun
shone out all the more brilliantly for the deluge, and the air was balmy and
clear.
The
crooked lane leading from their own parish to Mellstock ran along the lowest
levels in a portion of its length, and when the girls reached the most
depressed spot they found that the result of the rain had been to flood the
lane over-shoe to a distance of some fifty yards. This would have been no
serious hindrance on a week-day; they would have clicked through it in their
high pattens and boots quite unconcerned; but on this day of vanity, this
Sun's-day, when flesh went forth to coquet with flesh while hypocritically
affecting business with spiritual things; on this occasion for wearing their
white stockings and thin shoes, and their pink, white, and lilac gowns, on
which every mud spot would be visible, the pool was an awkward impediment. They
could hear the church-bell calling—as yet nearly a mile off.
"Who
would have expected such a rise in the river in summer-time!" said Marian,
from the top of the roadside bank on which they had climbed, and were
maintaining a precarious footing in the hope of creeping along its slope till
they were past the pool.
"We
can't get there anyhow, without walking right through it, or else going round
the Turnpike way; and that would make us so very late!" said Retty,
pausing hopelessly.
"And
I do colour up so hot, walking into church late, and all the people staring
round," said Marian, "that I hardly cool down again till we get into
the That-it-may-please-Thees."
While they
stood clinging to the bank they heard a splashing round the bend of the road,
and presently appeared Angel Clare, advancing along the lane towards them
through the water.
Four
hearts gave a big throb simultaneously.
His aspect
was probably as un-Sabbatarian a one as a dogmatic parson's son often
presented; his attire being his dairy clothes, long wading boots, a
cabbage-leaf inside his hat to keep his head cool, with a thistle-spud to
finish him off. "He's not going to church," said Marian.
"No—I
wish he was!" murmured Tess.
Angel, in
fact, rightly or wrongly (to adopt the safe phrase of evasive
controversialists), preferred sermons in stones to sermons in churches and
chapels on fine summer days. This morning, moreover, he had gone out to see if
the damage to the hay by the flood was considerable or not. On his walk he
observed the girls from a long distance, though they had been so occupied with
their difficulties of passage as not to notice him. He knew that the water had risen
at that spot, and that it would quite check their progress. So he had hastened
on, with a dim idea of how he could help them—one of them in particular.
The
rosy-cheeked, bright-eyed quartet looked so charming in their light summer
attire, clinging to the roadside bank like pigeons on a roof-slope, that he
stopped a moment to regard them before coming close. Their gauzy skirts had
brushed up from the grass innumerable flies and butterflies which, unable to
escape, remained caged in the transparent tissue as in an aviary. Angel's eye
at last fell upon Tess, the hindmost of the four; she, being full of suppressed
laughter at their dilemma, could not help meeting his glance radiantly.
He came
beneath them in the water, which did not rise over his long boots; and stood
looking at the entrapped flies and butterflies.
"Are
you trying to get to church?" he said to Marian, who was in front,
including the next two in his remark, but avoiding Tess.
"Yes,
sir; and 'tis getting late; and my colour do come up so—"
"I'll
carry you through the pool—every Jill of you."
The whole
four flushed as if one heart beat through them.
"I
think you can't, sir," said Marian.
"It
is the only way for you to get past. Stand still. Nonsense—you are not too
heavy! I'd carry you all four together. Now, Marian, attend," he
continued, "and put your arms round my shoulders, so. Now! Hold on. That's
well done."
Marian had
lowered herself upon his arm and shoulder as directed, and Angel strode off
with her, his slim figure, as viewed from behind, looking like the mere stem to
the great nosegay suggested by hers. They disappeared round the curve of the
road, and only his sousing footsteps and the top ribbon of Marian's bonnet told
where they were. In a few minutes he reappeared. Izz Huett was the next in
order upon the bank.
"Here
he comes," she murmured, and they could hear that her lips were dry with
emotion. "And I have to put my arms round his neck and look into his face
as Marian did."
"There's
nothing in that," said Tess quickly.
"There's
a time for everything," continued Izz, unheeding. "A time to embrace,
and a time to refrain from embracing; the first is now going to be mine."
"Fie—it
is Scripture, Izz!"
"Yes,"
said Izz, "I've always a' ear at church for pretty verses."
Angel
Clare, to whom three-quarters of this performance was a commonplace act of
kindness, now approached Izz. She quietly and dreamily lowered herself into his
arms, and Angel methodically marched off with her. When he was heard returning
for the third time Retty's throbbing heart could be almost seen to shake her.
He went up to the red-haired girl, and while he was seizing her he glanced at
Tess. His lips could not have pronounced more plainly, "It will soon be
you and I." Her comprehension appeared in her face; she could not help it.
There was an understanding between them.
Poor
little Retty, though by far the lightest weight, was the most troublesome of
Clare's burdens. Marian had been like a sack of meal, a dead weight of
plumpness under which he has literally staggered. Izz had ridden sensibly and
calmly. Retty was a bunch of hysterics.
However,
he got through with the disquieted creature, deposited her, and returned. Tess
could see over the hedge the distant three in a group, standing as he had
placed them on the next rising ground. It was now her turn. She was embarrassed
to discover that excitement at the proximity of Mr Clare's breath and eyes,
which she had contemned in her companions, was intensified in herself; and as
if fearful of betraying her secret, she paltered with him at the last moment.
"I
may be able to clim' along the bank perhaps—I can clim' better than they. You
must be so tired, Mr Clare!"
"No,
no, Tess," said he quickly. And almost before she was aware, she was
seated in his arms and resting against his shoulder.
"Three
Leahs to get one Rachel," he whispered.
"They
are better women than I," she replied, magnanimously sticking to her
resolve.
"Not
to me," said Angel.
He saw her
grow warm at this; and they went some steps in silence.
"I
hope I am not too heavy?" she said timidly.
"O
no. You should lift Marian! Such a lump. You are like an undulating billow
warmed by the sun. And all this fluff of muslin about you is the froth."
"It
is very pretty—if I seem like that to you."
"Do
you know that I have undergone three-quarters of this labour entirely for the
sake of the fourth quarter?"
"No."
"I
did not expect such an event to-day."
"Nor
I… The water came up so sudden."
That the
rise in the water was what she understood him to refer to, the state of
breathing belied. Clare stood still and inclinced his face towards hers.
"O
Tessy!" he exclaimed.
The girl's
cheeks burned to the breeze, and she could not look into his eyes for her
emotion. It reminded Angel that he was somewhat unfairly taking advantage of an
accidental position; and he went no further with it. No definite words of love
had crossed their lips as yet, and suspension at this point was desirable now.
However, he walked slowly, to make the remainder of the distance as long as
possible; but at last they came to the bend, and the rest of their progress was
in full view of the other three. The dry land was reached, and he set her down.
Her
friends were looking with round thoughtful eyes at her and him, and she could
see that they had been talking of her. He hastily bade them farewell, and
splashed back along the stretch of submerged road.
The four
moved on together as before, till Marian broke the silence by saying—
"No—in
all truth; we have no chance against her!" She looked joylessly at Tess.
"What
do you mean?" asked the latter.
"He
likes 'ee best—the very best! We could see it as he brought 'ee. He would have
kissed 'ee, if you had encouraged him to do it, ever so little."
"No,
no," said she.
The gaiety
with which they had set out had somehow vanished; and yet there was no enmity
or malice between them. They were generous young souls; they had been reared in
the lonely country nooks where fatalism is a strong sentiment, and they did not
blame her. Such supplanting was to be.
Tess's
heart ached. There was no concealing from herself the fact that she loved Angel
Clare, perhaps all the more passionately from knowing that the others had also
lost their hearts to him. There is contagion in this sentiment, especially
among women. And yet that same hungry nature had fought against this, but too
feebly, and the natural result had followed.
"I
will never stand in your way, nor in the way of either of you!" she
declared to Retty that night in the bedroom (her tears running down). "I
can't help this, my dear! I don't think marrying is in his mind at all; but if
he were ever to ask me I should refuse him, as I should refuse any man."
"Oh!
would you? Why?" said wondering Retty.
"It
cannot be! But I will be plain. Putting myself quite on one side, I don't think
he will choose either of you."
"I
have never expected it—thought of it!" moaned Retty. "But O! I wish I
was dead!"
The poor
child, torn by a feeling which she hardly understood, turned to the other two
girls who came upstairs just then.
"We
be friends with her again," she said to them. "She thinks no more of
his choosing her than we do."
So the
reserve went off, and they were confiding and warm.
"I
don't seem to care what I do now," said Marian, whose mood was turned to
its lowest bass. "I was going to marry a dairyman at Stickleford, who's
asked me twice; but—my soul—I would put an end to myself rather'n be his wife
now! Why don't ye speak, Izz?"
"To
confess, then," murmured Izz, "I made sure to-day that he was going
to kiss me as he held me; and I lay still against his breast, hoping and
hoping, and never moved at all. But he did not. I don't like biding here at
Talbothays any longer! I shall go hwome."
The air of
the sleeping-chamber seemed to palpitate with the hopeless passion of the
girls. They writhed feverishly under the oppressiveness of an emotion thrust on
them by cruel Nature's law—an emotion which they had neither expected nor
desired. The incident of the day had fanned the flame that was burning the
inside of their hearts out, and the torture was almost more than they could
endure. The differences which distinguished them as individuals were abstracted
by this passion, and each was but portion of one organism called sex. There was
so much frankness and so little jealousy because there was no hope. Each one
was a girl of fair common sense, and she did not delude herself with any vain
conceits, or deny her love, or give herself airs, in the idea of outshining the
others. The full recognition of the futility of their infatuation, from a
social point of view; its purposeless beginning; its self-bounded outlook; its
lack of everything to justify its existence in the eye of civilization (while
lacking nothing in the eye of Nature); the one fact that it did exist,
ecstasizing them to a killing joy—all this imparted to them a resignation, a
dignity, which a practical and sordid expectation of winning him as a husband
would have destroyed.
They
tossed and turned on their little beds, and the cheese-wring dripped
monotonously downstairs.
"B'
you awake, Tess?" whispered one, half-an-hour later.
It was Izz
Huett's voice.
Tess
replied in the affirmative, whereupon also Retty and Marian suddenly flung the
bedclothes off them, and sighed—
"So
be we!"
"I
wonder what she is like—the lady they say his family have looked out for
him!"
"I
wonder," said Izz.
"Some
lady looked out for him?" gasped Tess, starting. "I have never heard
o' that!"
"O
yes—'tis whispered; a young lady of his own rank, chosen by his family; a
Doctor of Divinity's daughter near his father's parish of Emminster; he don't
much care for her, they say. But he is sure to marry her."
They had
heard so very little of this; yet it was enough to build up wretched dolorous
dreams upon, there in the shade of the night. They pictured all the details of
his being won round to consent, of the wedding preparations, of the bride's
happiness, of her dress and veil, of her blissful home with him, when oblivion
would have fallen upon themselves as far as he and their love were concerned.
Thus they talked, and ached, and wept till sleep charmed their sorrow away.
After this disclosure Tess nourished no further
foolish thought that there lurked any grave and deliberate import in Clare's
attentions to her. It was a passing summer love of her face, for love's own
temporary sake—nothing more. And the thorny crown of this sad conception was
that she whom he really did prefer in a cursory way to the rest, she who knew
herself to be more impassioned in nature, cleverer, more beautiful than they,
was in the eyes of propriety far less worthy of him than the homelier ones whom
he ignored.
XXIV
Amid the
oozing fatness and warm ferments of the Froom Vale, at a season when the rush
of juices could almost be heard below the hiss of fertilization, it was
impossible that the most fanciful love should not grow passionate. The ready
bosoms existing there were impregnated by their surroundings.
July
passed over their heads, and the Thermidorean weather which came in its wake
seemed an effort on the part of Nature to match the state of hearts at Talbothays
Dairy. The air of the place, so fresh in the spring and early summer, was
stagnant and enervating now. Its heavy scents weighed upon them, and at mid-day
the landscape seemed lying in a swoon. Ethiopic scorchings browned the upper
slopes of the pastures, but there was still bright green herbage here where the
watercourses purled. And as Clare was oppressed by the outward heats, so was he
burdened inwardly by waxing fervour of passion for the soft and silent Tess.
The rains
having passed, the uplands were dry. The wheels of the dairyman's spring-cart,
as he sped home from market, licked up the pulverized surface of the highway,
and were followed by white ribands of dust, as if they had set a thin
powder-train on fire. The cows jumped wildly over the five-barred barton-gate,
maddened by the gad-fly; Dairyman Crick kept his shirt-sleeves permanently
rolled up from Monday to Saturday; open windows had no effect in ventilation
without open doors, and in the dairy-garden the blackbirds and thrushes crept
about under the currant-bushes, rather in the manner of quadrupeds than of
winged creatures. The flies in the kitchen were lazy, teasing, and familiar,
crawling about in the unwonted places, on the floors, into drawers, and over
the backs of the milkmaids' hands. Conversations were concerning sunstroke;
while butter-making, and still more butter-keeping, was a despair.
They
milked entirely in the meads for coolness and convenience, without driving in
the cows. During the day the animals obsequiously followed the shadow of the
smallest tree as it moved round the stem with the diurnal roll; and when the
milkers came they could hardly stand still for the flies.
On one of
these afternoons four or five unmilked cows chanced to stand apart from the
general herd, behind the corner of a hedge, among them being Dumpling and Old
Pretty, who loved Tess's hands above those of any other maid. When she rose
from her stool under a finished cow, Angel Clare, who had been observing her
for some time, asked her if she would take the aforesaid creatures next. She
silently assented, and with her stool at arm's length, and the pail against her
knee, went round to where they stood. Soon the sound of Old Pretty's milk
fizzing into the pail came through the hedge, and then Angel felt inclined to
go round the corner also, to finish off a hard-yielding milcher who had strayed
there, he being now as capable of this as the dairyman himself.
All the
men, and some of the women, when milking, dug their foreheads into the cows and
gazed into the pail. But a few—mainly the younger ones—rested their heads
sideways. This was Tess Durbeyfield's habit, her temple pressing the milcher's
flank, her eyes fixed on the far end of the meadow with the quiet of one lost
in meditation. She was milking Old Pretty thus, and the sun chancing to be on
the milking-side, it shone flat upon her pink-gowned form and her white
curtain-bonnet, and upon her profile, rendering it keen as a cameo cut from the
dun background of the cow.
She did
not know that Clare had followed her round, and that he sat under his cow
watching her. The stillness of her head and features was remarkable: she might
have been in a trance, her eyes open, yet unseeing. Nothing in the picture
moved but Old Pretty's tail and Tess's pink hands, the latter so gently as to
be a rhythmic pulsation only, as if they were obeying a reflex stimulus, like a
beating heart.
How very
lovable her face was to him. Yet there was nothing ethereal about it; all was
real vitality, real warmth, real incarnation. And it was in her mouth that this
culminated. Eyes almost as deep and speaking he had seen before, and cheeks
perhaps as fair; brows as arched, a chin and throat almost as shapely; her
mouth he had seen nothing to equal on the face of the earth. To a young man with
the least fire in him that little upward lift in the middle of her red top lip
was distracting, infatuating, maddening. He had never before seen a woman's
lips and teeth which forced upon his mind with such persistent iteration the
old Elizabethan simile of roses filled with snow. Perfect, he, as a lover,
might have called them off-hand. But no—they were not perfect. And it was the
touch of the imperfect upon the would-be perfect that gave the sweetness,
because it was that which gave the humanity.
Clare had
studied the curves of those lips so many times that he could reproduce them
mentally with ease: and now, as they again confronted him, clothed with colour
and life, they sent an aura over his flesh, a breeze through his nerves,
which well nigh produced a qualm; and actually produced, by some mysterious
physiological process, a prosaic sneeze.
She then
became conscious that he was observing her; but she would not show it by any
change of position, though the curious dream-like fixity disappeared, and a
close eye might easily have discerned that the rosiness of her face deepened,
and then faded till only a tinge of it was left.
The
influence that had passed into Clare like an excitation from the sky did not
die down. Resolutions, reticences, prudences, fears, fell back like a defeated
battalion. He jumped up from his seat, and, leaving his pail to be kicked over
if the milcher had such a mind, went quickly towards the desire of his eyes,
and, kneeling down beside her, clasped her in his arms.
Tess was
taken completely by surprise, and she yielded to his embrace with unreflecting
inevitableness. Having seen that it was really her lover who had advanced, and
no one else, her lips parted, and she sank upon him in her momentary joy, with
something very like an ecstatic cry.
He had
been on the point of kissing that too tempting mouth, but he checked himself,
for tender conscience' sake.
"Forgive
me, Tess dear!" he whispered. "I ought to have asked. I—did not know
what I was doing. I do not mean it as a liberty. I am devoted to you, Tessy,
dearest, in all sincerity!"
Old Pretty
by this time had looked round, puzzled; and seeing two people crouching under
her where, by immemorial custom, there should have been only one, lifted her
hind leg crossly.
"She
is angry—she doesn't know what we mean—she'll kick over the milk!"
exclaimed Tess, gently striving to free herself, her eyes concerned with the
quadruped's actions, her heart more deeply concerned with herself and Clare.
She
slipped up from her seat, and they stood together, his arm still encircling
her. Tess's eyes, fixed on distance, began to fill.
"Why
do you cry, my darling?" he said.
"O—I
don't know!" she murmured.
As she saw
and felt more clearly the position she was in she became agitated and tried to
withdraw.
"Well,
I have betrayed my feeling, Tess, at last," said he, with a curious sigh
of desperation, signifying unconsciously that his heart had outrun his
judgement. "That I—love you dearly and truly I need not say. But I—it
shall go no further now—it distresses you—I am as surprised as you are. You
will not think I have presumed upon your defencelessness—been too quick and
unreflecting, will you?"
"N'—I
can't tell."
He had
allowed her to free herself; and in a minute or two the milking of each was
resumed. Nobody had beheld the gravitation of the two into one; and when the
dairyman came round by that screened nook a few minutes later, there was not a
sign to reveal that the markedly sundered pair were more to each other than
mere acquaintance. Yet in the interval since Crick's last view of them
something had occurred which changed the pivot of the universe for their two
natures; something which, had he known its quality, the dairyman would have
despised, as a practical man; yet which was based upon a more stubborn and
resistless tendency than a whole heap of so-called practicalities. A veil had
been whisked aside; the tract of each one's outlook was to have a new horizon
thenceforward—for a short time or for a long.
End of Phase the Third
To be continued